Hospitals



The minute another one's gone with the season,
you start to realise that your body isn't just a bag of water.

It is merely a version of a hospital,
carrying in casualties and doing whatever it is able to heal them.
Mend their bones,

Stitch them together,
Rest their knees.

The body will then prove to you that it is far more capable than you think and it will start to save many lives.
It will get used to the warmth of having beds of visitors and countless surgeries,
and it will not mind the collective injury altogether.

What happens next is that the casualties gets to get better,
and they will be able to walk back on their own two feet again; straight up.
The visitors eventually crawl out to exit in a perfect line by the check out counter and leave out in the open; back to wherever it is they came from,

and the body then starts to shrink.

The body starts to realise that the better it heals, the quicker it will purge itself.
The familiar corridors, slowly becoming doorways with no doors;
The elevator, into a deep endless well;
The waiting rooms, into spaces with nothing to actually wait for.

This is the part where the body swells and questions its place in the world.
The part where it curses why it is what it is,
The part where it wishes it was some other building that instead carries in bright-eyed people that knows what they signed up for,
The part where it demands for something it cannot carry for the long run.

The dangerous thing about being able,
is that it has to be just you that fills yourself in the end.




Would you look at that.
The bandages are running low, again.

You should get them soon.

Wildfire


You once told me I was faithless.

I wish you could see it;
The wildfire behind these hills.
They've been screaming for us. Our names.

For years,
For centuries,

For a lifetime.

I have put them in despair.
I have put us all in despair.

And yet, here we are.

Here I am, asking you to lead me straight to it.
Here you are, searching for the ground in which I am walking on.

You once told me I was faithless.

Now if that wasn't the faith you were expecting,
then I hope one day you get to understand.

The Devil


When I was a child I was convinced that the devil had no name.

I used to think that he was an entity that was literally everywhere all the time, slipping through everyone in every corner and that was just how it is.

I used to sleep on the left side of my bed and made space for him, just to let him know that he doesn't have to slip through me he can just lie down next to me instead and mind his own business.
I used to pray before every meal just to let him know that I'm famished and protected and totally not alone and he can just go do something else that doesn't involve my female gastro rage that I think is a lot more vicious than what he makes of himself.

Even when I didn't know any better, I was so sure that whenever your body feels like an uninvited guest is crawling through the depths of your flesh and shivers you down to your spine,
You are supposed to pretend that you're not shaking and really trick yourself into thinking that you can beat this. That you can manage this. That you can take this. That you own this.
When years went by and I had the privilege to learn better, I learned that the devil was not who I thought he was.

He wasn't an invisible entity that could transform into whatever your mind wants him to become.
He doesn't just die when you strike him down with your faith-based sentences or your mythical gun or your fictional double-edged dagger.
No; The devil did have a name.
He had one so easy to pronounce that it rolled off my tongue instantly the moment I learned what it was.
Its name sounded so familiar, it almost sounded just like yours.

The devil does not die when he leaves.
He comes in a figure that was so human you almost feel sorry for him you offer him shelter.
The devil leaves a mark so big and visible that he is now much more alive than the last time you left him.
The devil doesn't leave; He stays,
and you become his reflection.
You become his fingerprint.
You become his epilogue.
You become him.

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